ricksanscrotum:

i talk about wanting a boyfriend but i dont even know what id do with one like what do you just kiss him and then leave him alone in a corner how often does it eat

(via steal-the-tardis)

tomlinsarse:

i’m about to cry

my brother told me that only today he found out that LGBT stood for les/gay/bi/trans instead of lettuce green bacon tomato

he looked at me and he had tears in his eyes and he said in the most horrified voice

i’ve been telling people i like LGBT sandwiches okay that means i’ve been having gay sandwiches

then he started to cry and ran off and yelled

they all think i’ve had gay threesomes!!!!!

i’m actually crying omg 

(Source: brisasmith, via brisasmith)

heyfunniest:

guilty.

Laughter provides a good workout for the heart, so click here and laugh!!

(Source: giggle-pie, via awkward-ostrich)

sweetlasers:

hey i just met you

and this is jay z

(Source: brisasmith, via brisasmith)